I am sorry to start the new year on a down note, but I had to put Gray to sleep today.
When I came back from New Zealand, Gray was having trouble breathing. I took her to the vet and they diagnosed her with an enlarged heart; basically, she was in congestive heart failure. I decided at that point that it didn't make sense to spend a fortune to keep her alive, just so that I wouldn't be lonely. Plus, I would have to give her an increasing number of pills, and bring her into the vet all the time for tests, so it would have been an unpleasant life for her. And at 17 1/2, she was near the end of her life no matter what.
So I made the decision to wait until after the holidays, when Ethan had returned from the north slope, to put her to sleep. And today was the day.
It was so hard. She was scared, even though I was right there petting her. I didn't think she would be scared. I felt awful.
Poor little thing. I keep telling myself I did the right thing. But I miss her already.