That's the way it crumbles, cookie-wise

Today I went back to my old intern days and launched the weather balloon. The reason I did this is because I need to maintain my certification, because one of the current interns is quitting. "If that's what you call it" he says. I hate to tell ya buddy, but just because the boss says you're "resigning" doesn't make it any different. Quitting, resigning, it's all the same thing. You're no longer working here.

I'm afraid I wasn't my usual self (friendly, chatty, mediocrely nice) because, well, I'm so jealous I can't see straight. He is quitting for some of the same reasons that I am so frustrated with this job -- stagnation, lack of leadership, an office that's not going in a direction that interests him, and the suckiness of shiftwork. But I'm still working, and he's leaving. Freedom!

Of course, freedom comes with a price (it always does). He doesn't have a job lined up. And let's face it, that's a big reason I don't quit. I have no idea what I would do instead that would actually support the family. Another big reason is that I really don't want to give up. This is a good job -- it pays well, it's fairly easy and the benefits are great. I've wanted to be a meteorologist for years. I paid time and money for the college to get here. So I don't want to just throw that all away.

But I just feel so stagnant in this office. My promotion possibilities are: Lead Forecaster, which is a crappier schedule, no more responsibility, and crappier shift duties. Sure, it makes more money, but that doesn't really get me any closer to my goal, which is a job I could actually see myself doing in 20 or 30 years. I'm tired of this shiftwork gig. This morning I woke up at 4:30, because my sleep schedule was all screwed up with the night shifts the past few days. And then, because I woke up so early and was so tired (but couldn't fall back to sleep), I felt sick all morning. This happens more and more frequently the longer I spend doing shiftwork.

I would like to get promoted to management. But first I need to move to another office, hopefully find a better Lead Forecaster position there, and possibly get a Masters degree. And to do all that, I have to wait. Wait for my husband to come home, wait for him to finish his stint with BP, wait for some other office to actually hire me.

I know, I know, that no matter what I will have issues with any office I go to. I know that I'm getting all worked up over nothing and that I should count my blessings. I know that it might just take a little more work for me to be where I want to be, both career-wise and mental-health-wise. But when I see my coworker take the easy route, I just get jealous. I'm tired of paying my dues, dammit!