Saturday, December 23, 2006

This Fire is Outta Control

You're lucky you're reading this, loyal blog reader. I am apparently a closet pyromaniac, after nearly burning my house down several times trying to make fudge. How is this possible, you say? Well, I guess my fudge-pot (the largest saucepan I own) was not big enough for the recipe. So the milk/sugar mixture kept boiling over. And sugar, my friends, burns like a motherfucker. How does a motherfucker burn? you might ask. Well, let's just say it involves flames shooting out from above the burner, under the burner and surrounding the bottom of the pot. Of course, my wonderful fire alarm didn't go off until after the fire was out. Yeah, I feel safe now. And my house still smells like burnt sugar. Ugh.

All this in preparation for a Christmas party, where I was receiving unplanned-for gifts. See, we were doing a white-elephant gift exchange (also known as a Chinese gift exchange/auction. But I'm trying to be politically correct, here). Anyway, I thought that meant we were only bringing one gift....then I found out the other army wives bought me gifts. Doh! I knew the one girl had bought me a couple of small books, so I thought a nice homemade gift of two different kinds of fudge would be adequate. Fortunately, the first kind of fudge went okay, or else I would have shown up empty-handed. But after the second attempt of the second kind of fudge (and 3rd or 4th combustion) I gave up. I decided that it would be a little skimpy, but hopefully okay.

Well, I was embarrassed. Girl #1 gave me a double picture frame set (large picture frames with multiple windows), Lindt chocolates and 2 funny books. Girl #2 gave me a warming plate for my fondue pot and a crockpot. And this guy (for whom I fortunately brought fudge) gave me a $100 gift card to R.E.I. (note to E: don't get jealous, he spent that much on each of us)! Well, let me tell you, my little quarter pan of fudge looked like the lamest gift ever, even if it was homemade. Doh!

So now I've got to step it up for the birthdays. I just hope they aren't sitting at home, thinking about what a cheap bastard I am, even though it's true. I didn't really mean to be that cheap, honest!

On a more serious note, my MIL called today with some news about my SIL's baby. Now, SIL and the baby (girl, like I thought!) are fine, but there are some complications. The umbilical cord is placed between the baby and the cervix, which according to my MIL, is serious. Things can easily rupture, I guess, causing catastrophe for mother and baby (anybody with a little more knowledge, feel feel to comment. I really don't know much about this process and could totally be misrepresenting, here). So I am concerned for them both. Send your prayers/good vibes our way, because it's another 4 months until my new neice is due!

Anyway, if I don't post before Christmas, which I probably won't, have a Merry one. Or if you don't celebrate Christmas, enjoy a day off. For those of you celebrating solstice/Chanukah, sorry I missed it, hope you had a good one. Peace on Earth, goodwill toward mankind!

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