Well, I'm in a lot better mood today. Sometimes, things can just overwhelm me. And while in the grand scheme of things, a possible deployment isn't that big a deal, it's still a big deal to me. Especially since it's occurring at a particularly turbulent time in my life.
It helps to think about my grandparents, who had to deal with being separated during WWII. They didn't have the internet, and phone calls were much more rare. You were lucky if you heard from your spouse once a month by mail back then. And people were dying at a much higher rate. But both of my grandfathers came back from WWII with no ill effects, and went on to have successful, happy marriages.
I also talked to a guy at my work who spent a year in Vietnam. He said it was hard, but he made it through just fine. So it helped reassure me that E will not return from the desert as a victim of PTSD, or with some weird affliction or something.
Anyway, like I said yesterday, problems just loom so much bigger when I'm working nights. My coworker said he thinks it's because your brain worries more at night -- like when you can't sleep because you're worried about some little thing you wouldn't obsess over during the day. I don't know if there's any truth to that or not.
Back to the excitment of my life...I have been trying to plan out better methods to keep on task from day to day. Partially at home, but in particular at work. It seems like I just cannot keep interest in my work duties. I keep surfing the net, or chatting. In fact, on Friday my products were late (partially because bad weather made a difficult forecast). Anyway, I've made a little rule that I have 1/2 an hour to get set up and check e-mail when I come in. Then I have to work an hour before taking a break. I can take a 10 minute break every hour. Last night, this worked out pretty well. Tonight, not so much. I just can't seem to keep interest, even for 50 minutes! That is so sad. But tommorrow is another day. If I keep at it, then I will get into a routine and hopefully become a little more productive.