Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Is that a bump on your head or are you happy to see me?

So I made it to the kayaking class, and just as I suspected, I ended up having fun. My friend G was the teacher, so that was cool, because it made me feel comfortable. We learned how to paddle (although there wasn't too much of that, since there were 6 large kayaks in the pool), how to get out if you capsize, how to get back in if you're kayaking with someone, and how to self-rescue. It made me feel a lot more confident, which is good. I still don't want to capsize in Alaska water though--I think the sea surface temperatures up here are around 50 to 60 F right now (10 to 15 C), which is NOT WARM.

The low point of the night was the bumps and bruises I got from scrambling in and out of the kayak. I bruise easily, so it's not like it's unusual. Unfortunately, beside the myriad of bruises on my legs, I also managed to flip the kayak on my forehead when I was in the water. Ouch. So now I have a knot on my forehead. It's not black and blue yet, but I'm not holding my breath that it stays that way.

I did get home fairly late. E was already in bed, since he had to go to guard drill at 6 AM, and didn't get home until 7:45 PM. Crappy Army National Guard and their 13 hr days. He was very sleepy and apologized for not being around more lately. I don't know what he can do about it; it's not his fault the guard is taking up all his time with Annual Training. But I appreciated the thought. Especially because with Stuff I Can't Talk About going on, I'm feeling rather needy.

I read my friend's blog and she talked about how her boyfriend proposed. It was really thoughtful! He even arranged for a photographer to be there so they could have pictures later (not my style, but hey). E and I have been talking about marriage (again, due to S.I.C.T.A.) and I think I threw him for a loop when I said a proposal was really important to me. I mean, I don't need some fancy thing, or even a ring (whoah, that rhymes) but I've always imagined/hoped for that moment when the man I want to spend the rest of my life with tells me that he feels the same way. It's hard to explain. I guess it's kind of silly, because if I already know he feels that way, then I shouldn't need him to ask me to marry him. I guess I just want reassurance that he really does feel this way, and he's not marrying me because of societal expectations, or he feels obligated, or some other crazy thing. Of course, if I guilt him into the proposal, then I guess that the whole idea kind of backfired.


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