Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Nightmares

My dreams lately haven't been so great. The night before last, I dreamed that my father died. I was so sad and lonely in my dream and I couldn't stop crying. There was some lady from the funeral home or something there and she said "Well, at least you have your husband to comfort you" and I said "No, I don't. He's in Kuwait". Also, I was trying to deliver the eulogy and she kept interrupting me and reading what I had in my notes, even though I wanted to say something different. So I told her to shut up, and then everyone yelled at me for being mean to her.

Then last night, I had a work dream (sort of). I dreamed that E's boss, who looked surprisingly like my old boss from hell, asked me to do a weather forecast for some high-up General or something. I was looking at the satellite when I saw a low pressure system that the computer models weren't showing. I told E's boss that I thought that system was going to move into the Gulf of Mexico and turn into a tropical storm, even though the computer models didn't show it at all. He asked when that would happen, and I told him in a couple of days. "Well, what about tomorrow?" he said. So I told him the weather would be the same that it had been today, a few thunderstorms in the southern part of the state, but mostly sunny. He was going to take that forecast to the General, and I started to write a paper about this low pressure system that was going to turn into a tropical storm. I had almost finished with the paper and E's boss told me that they would publish it, so I was really excited. Then I went to bed (or something) and when I woke up the next morning, there had been a huge tornado that ripped through the base (which was Camp Shelby, where E was at training last summer). All these people and animals were dying or injured, and I was crying because it was my fault since I had failed to predict the tornado. I felt so guilty, like I was too wrapped up in my paper to see the signs of the tornado. Then I realized E hadn't called me, and I started worrying that he was dead or injured. Finally I woke up.

I think I'm having some abandonment and guilt issues.

2 comments:

eaf said...

Doing Weather Reports for the Duffman in your dreams? You must be in bad shape!

It's still amazing to me how many of your dreams you remember. I mean, I can't remember what I ate for breakfast, let alone something that happened in the nether reaches of my brain while I was deep in sleep. Considering your recent experience, I suppose I should be glad about that...

Robyn said...

hugs!