Saturday, August 26, 2006

Dear E: You're the best. Love, Lt Col Bite Me

E's boss sent him a little love note the other day. It was rather lengthy and vitriolic, and included such lovely phrases as (formatting mine):

"Games are over. Do it. Soldiers without weapons will get counseling statements. Commanders, 1SG, and soldiers caught w/o weapons could find themselves guarding weapons while the rest of us are on block leave."

"I will add that is discouraging to learn that a immature leader or two is informing their soldiers that the battalion is determining these policies..." (Pssst, it's "an" before a word beginning in a vowel, dumbass).

"The smart and mature leaders know when and where to disagree (behind closed doors) and on what issues (pick your battles carefully)." (This was in a letter sent to multiple people.)

"Do not let yourself become weak or find that you cannot “set the standard” thus making a mockery of yourself." Are you rolling your eyes yet?

"Further for any shit house lawyer that feels that they are irreplaceable: I have checked with my superiors and I have the sole authority to replace commanders and 1SG at my sole
discretion here at Shelby and overseas. I have heard rumors among some commanders that you do not feel or think I have this authority. I would not be the fool to test your theory." I hate to admit it, but he's kind of scaring me here. And I'm not sure why the Inspector General would tell E something different.

"Keep doing what you are doing right and take swift, but corrective steps in fixing what you are doing wrong. The CSM, myself and my staff will do all we can to ensure that
your command is successful." Which is just total bullshit. This piece of crap has done nothing but fuck my husband over since he got down there.

His signature block:

LTC Bite Me
Setting the Standard

Which I find laughable. Setting the standard for assholes everywhere, perhaps.

On a more amusing note, I had forgotten that this guy's first name is also the name of a certain Famous Beer on The Simpsons. Which makes me think of the mascot of that beer. And if I weren't afraid of getting my husband in trouble, I would call him that on the blog. But let's face it, not many people have that name, so it would totally give him away. Here's a pic for you though:

I may have to take down these quotes. We shall see.

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